Friday, February 19, 2010

bitchfest. because I have no roommate to talk to.

so lately I feel like I've been slipping through the cracks. My roommate has this new boyfriend and because of that she is never around anymore. She drives me crazy sometimes, but I guess that's to be expected when you live with your friend. It'd be nice if she was around, because I kinda need someone to talk to. Not like "oh my world is falling apart I desperately need a friend." But when the little things bug me or make me happy, its nice to have someone there to talk to. It's one of the big reasons I gave up a single and got a roommate, because I was sick of being alone in the room all the time. Well that went well for a little bit, but now I'm alone all the time, because my friends have their own plans with their roommates. And mine spends all her time, even nights, at her boyfriend's house. Than she comes back for clothes and won't really talk to me because her boyfriend is out in the car and she doesn't want to keep him waiting.

My boyfriend spends a ton of time with his friends. Which is fantastic, and I'm really happy about that. antisocial guys are kinda clingy. But usually he spends like 4-5 hours with them (not including classes together and meals) and plays video games for hours. Then tells me he can only spend like 1-2 hours with me because he doesn't have enough time. sometimes I get to see him for longer than that. Like last night he came over early because he had plans with his friends when he's usually with me. so I got him for about 3 hours which was amazing. But that doesn't happen much. If I want to spend more time with him, it's at meals or watching him play video games sometimes. woo hoo?

And because of the fact that my grandparents are sick, my mom is in NY and my dad has to be taking care of the house and my brother and his job. So I don't get to spend much time with them. So overall, I guess I'm feeling alone. which i know I'm really not, but it really really feels like it. i keep trying to go do stuff with my friends from last semester, but they are always doing things that cost money, or i have to get a ride because I found out after they've left. it feels like they don't want me around. So here I sit. In my dorm room. Alone. As usual. And this is what I'll be doing tonight as well. Doesn't this sound like a blast?

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