I love to dye my hair. the color change makes me feel good about myself and I could never figure out why until today. It's something that I control and no one else. When things feel like I have no control, I change the color. And I realized recently that I had done it when I lost control of things that I hadn't really lost control of. If that makes sense outside my head. When my grades weren't too good, when I had made a bad impression and it needed to be a good one.
well today I feel like i lost control. I'm having mood swings and I cant get control of them. my grandfather isn't doing fantastic. getting better but I'm still scared all the time for him. my mom is taking care of him and so she can't be home and I miss her terribly. my roommate is barely around. and i feel like I'm drowning in school work sometimes. i feel like no matter how i try to make friends i fail and i end up being known as a freak. its not as bad as it could be, but the whole emotional roller coaster makes it worse and makes me freak out. so I'm trying temporary color. coz I'm only kinda losing control?
No comments:
Post a Comment