wow a lot to write. so i've been single a little over a week. and im good. its harder at times than others, but im fine. went out tonight. danced with a guy and had a wonderful time with my best friend here. being single is not horrible.
school is going well. not quite as wonderful as i had hoped, but my classes are really hard. so ill be spending much more time in the library with my homework and books. o joy joy. this will be fun. but on the upside my friend is teaching me spanish and im teaching myself french. so im gonna be trilingual (with any luck) soon. and by that i mean ill be barely competant haha.
something ive learned: i always thought drinking was horrible and why would you want to do that and yadda yadda. but i have drank recently and its not bad. when you get people who cant control themselves and dont know their limit or drink to be drunk, than its bad. but drinking in and of itself is not a bad thing in my mind. im careful about what i drink and who im with. and i know my limits so i know that that last shot would be too much so i should stick with my beer. mixing = not good. just a discovery i have made. i now feel really bad for last semester when id get mad at my friends about it :( .
so i realized tonight completely out of the blue something truly scary. have you ever had one of those relationships where even after is over you think about the person? im not talking every day i cant live without you thoughts. just wondering how they are and hoping they are happy. well id never really had an ex like that. until now. i was looking through old photos when i came across an exboyfriend. its not like he'll ever read this, but i try not to do names in here. started thinking about him and at first i thought i was missing him. and than i realized i dont think i miss him. i miss what we had (when things were going well) because he was a great guy. we werent good together, but as a person he was truly a good man. he's going to make some girl very happy and im glad.
i hated it at the time, because we were always up and down and round and round. things were amazing or horrible. and i couldnt figure out why this was happening!? but now i see i needed that. because at our greatest points he made me so happy, but i needed to see that other side as well to know every guy has his flaws. and if you love someone than the flaws arent going to drive you away. they dont even have to be flaws with the person, just flaws in the relationship or imperfections on how you get along or agree. it was an important lesson
anyway, i just thought it was interesting that i thought of him. because i thought i hated him a while ago. things ended when we both knew it was coming, but i didnt want it to. i loved him. ok ranting about ex boyfriends.... never a good sign haha. anyway. ill sign off now. i have a work call and a haircut early tomorrow. yay!
ex- i hope you are well and happy
world- goodnight
mom- the cookies are delicious, thank you!
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