I may have lost my way back, haven't forgotten my way home

so this is has been such an interesting and eye opening experience for me. I recently moved into my dorm at Drake University, and met some really interesting people. I'm a transfer student so I moved in early to go to orientation and such. And today was the last first day of classes, which is awkward to say. Since we have M/W/F and T/TH classes, you have 2 days that are first day of class. weird....

anyway, people here are just so much nicer. guys hold open doors and dont go "hey bitch" when they talk to me, and people make an effort to remember your name or talk to you if your lost. And everyone is just so helpful in everyway! this is much different than the east coast and what I'm used to, it took me a bit to adjust. I'm still not used to it. i keep expecting to hear something derogatory that's meant inoffensively and have to buck up and deal with "bitch" being affectionate. i really like it here. im happy.

and i realized that i haven't been happy with who I became. and I get to fix that. I lost who I was while trying to become who I'll be. that sounds all deep and stuff, but its really not. I compromised myself and my values and what I wanted for a guy and for people who didn't care about me no matter what I did. and I'm only seeing this now. I'm just sad I lost so much time. I needed to have that experience to know just how valuable time and sense of self are, but I wish it was something I could have learned by book instead of experience. and I hope I don't slip into that noose again while here.

just for starters

hey all. i started this for a few reasons. I have always needed a place to write, because writing is just what I love to do. whether is this kind of thing (writing for a nonexistant or limited audience) or poetry or essays, I'm at ease when I'm being expressive. the figurative pen and paper. another reason being my mom got one, and since I'm going off to my second year of college (or third year depending on how you look at it), i thought this would be a nice way for her to know what was going on with me, because i know sometimes she doesnt want to ask for fear that ill feel suffocated (yes mom, I see that). and she needs help figuring out how to work this website. many many reasons. but for the moment I am shaky (hunger and post-wisdom teeth removal pain will do that), distractable, and dont have the time to discuss the topics running through my mind. so i will write later.